Emergence
by Rowen-bsg
Summary: A short scene set during Revelations exploring how Delenn first reacts to her change.


**Emergence**

by Ruth Owen

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_Disclaimer: Babylon 5 belongs to whomever - obviously not me._

**Thanks**: to Mary for reading this one, pointing out the flaws and providing me with a transcript of the appropriate episode; and to Inga for also reading the earlier version.

**Synopsis**: A short scene set during "Revelations" exploring how Delenn first reacts to her change.

_Extra note: This story was written somewhere between 1993 and 1997. I'm currently in the process of uploading some of my old fanfiction to the archive._

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The journey to awareness began almost imperceptibly. First was a feeling of warmth - closeness. It was a fleeting sensation, small, like the very first drop of melted snow in spring. The brain was not functioning enough to actively identify and catalog the feeling - it was recognized on a lower, more primitive level of being that knew only sensation, not thought.

That first sensation, like the melting snow, triggered others - a small snowball graduating to an avalanche as it rolled down the mountainside.

...A darkness surrounding her body, that faded to a diffused grey.

...Silence, then a barely audible hum.

...The sound of a being breathing in a confined environment.

...In, out. In, out. In, out.

...A smell, sweet - almost like honey.

...A metallic taste.

Slowly, still not fully aware, she began to move - back and forth, back and forth - to break free from confinement. The light grew brighter. A drift of air - cooler, fresher - moved across her skin. Prompted by instinct, she pushed toward the increased light, at last breaking free from the dry shroud of her confinement to fall upon a hard surface.

A new birth.

Another immeasurable length of time passed. She lay, collapsed in an ungainly heap upon the floor, eyes staring uncomprehendingly at her surroundings.

Gradually, like a flower blooming, words and associations began to enter her mind unbidden.

...Something soft and dark within her field of view - 'It is grey.'

...The surface upon which she rested - 'The floor.'

...The smell of something in the air - 'Cooked Flarn.'

Faster and faster, names, words, images cascaded into her mind. With each new word, more associations.

...Who am I?...

... I am Delenn.

Curiosity returned.

...'Why am I lying on the floor?'

She pushed up into a sitting position, her arms unaccountably weak. Confused, she looked down...

...Grey scales instead of smooth, pale skin. Frantically, she ran her hands over her chest; her neck; her face. Rough scales greeted her searching hands.

A noise intruded upon the muted stillness of the room, one which took her a moment to recognize.

The sound of her own voice, rusty with disuse, screaming.

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Delenn's throat felt raw by the time the scream faded to a whimper, and she sat with arms curled around her legs, completely drained by the outburst of naked emotion. Her thoughts tumbled like leaves caught in an eddy of wind, circling in a maddened path but ultimately going nowhere. She shivered, a small tremor at first that swiftly intensified until her entire body was shaking. If she had been able to think coherently, she may have recognized the convulsions as a symptom of shock, but she only knew she was curled up on the floor, naked, frightened, alone and very cold.

Bracing herself on a nearby chair, she arduously pulled herself into a kneeling position then, trembling, to a seated position on the chair.

Unaware of tears streaming down her face, she leant back and heard something slither off the back of the chair to land with a soft rustle on the floor. Dully, she reached down and pulled it across her lap: a long grey robe. The robe of a Satai.

Lennier must have left it for her in preparation for her emergence. She dragged it around her, its accustomed weight and texture no longer familiar to her new skin.

What had she done? She had been so sure of herself. So sure it was the correct thing to do. She drew the robe more tightly about her slender frame, gritting her teeth so they wouldn't chatter. She couldn't stay sitting there forever, though. She pushed off the chair, managing to stagger as far as the wall of her quarters, before her legs refused to carry her weight any longer and she slid down against the cool surface until she was slumped in the corner.

Delenn snorted at her audacity. So sure she was correct; chosen by prophecy. Sure enough to not wait for permission from the Grey Council. She drew the robe more tightly around herself and sobbed at the irony. A Satai's robe. Grey. Hand dyed and woven for one of the Nine. She had never less deserved to be Grey than she did now.

"In Valen's name... What have I done?"

Burying her face in her hands, she wept. Alone.

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She may have slept - she did not know. The next thing she was aware of was Lennier rushing to her side.

"Delenn!"

Her head remained bowed, the hood of her cloak completely concealing her altered features.

"Delenn!"

She withdrew further into the cloak. Lennier was so young; impressionable; trusting: how could she bear for him to see her like this - no longer the powerful, mysterious Satai, but the scared, frightened woman whose pride and arrogance had brought her to this?

Her aide's hands were firm, yet gentle upon her arms, trying to assist her to her feet, but she resisted. She was too weak to stand at any rate.

"You are ill, Delenn."

She could hear the worry in his voice as he moved away from her, but she felt too lethargic to call him back to reassure him. Besides, how could she reassure him now? Especially when her own mind and being were in such turmoil.

There was a chime - the sound of a comm panel being activated.

"I will call for a healer."

"No," Delenn's voice lashed out, grating and harsh with disuse, almost unrecognizable. She had become other than Minbari: the healers of her people would be of little use. None of them specialized in treating... whatever she was now. And she wanted to keep her shame private for a little while longer. Everyone would know soon enough anyway.

"But Delenn..." Lennier protested, coming back to crouch by her side, his hand touching her shoulder softly. "You must see someone."

Yes she must. There was only one option available to her, an option she would never have considered before, but her altered state leaving her no choice:

"Call Dr. Franklin."

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While awaiting the human doctor's arrival, Lennier urged Delenn to let him help her to the couch. Delenn knew it was not seemly for her to huddle in the corner like a frightened child, but didn't care about appearances anymore. What did it matter? She was already shamed.

"Thank you for coming, Doctor," she heard Lennier greet the human. "Ambassador Delenn is ill."

"Are you sure you want me here? Surely you would prefer one of your own healers?" She could hear the surprise in the doctor's voice.

"The situation is somewhat... delicate," Lennier said carefully. Poor Lennier. Would her shame be reflected upon him? He had chosen to follow her willingly, but it was not fair that her failure should be his as well.

Franklin moved closer, until he was kneeling at her side.

"Ambassador?" he said gently. There was genuine concern in his voice. She wondered how many Minbari healers would worry about human patients, even now that hostilities had ended between the two races.

It was time. Steeling herself, she let the folds of the robe fall away from a hand, exposing the hideous skin. She turned her head, to allow a shaft of light to reveal her face. The surprise and shock was evident on the doctor's face, and from behind him, Delenn could hear Lennier's sharply indrawn breath.

Franklin took her hand, as she turned her face toward the wall, unable to bear the scrutiny of their eyes. His fingers brushing the altered skin and a large piece seemed to flake off as a result of the pressure.

"Is this normal?" The man looked stunned.

Delenn felt a stab of despair pierce her being at his question. Was it normal? She did not know? How could she? She had been overly hasty and now was going to pay the price.

Still, the question had to be asked - the one she had yet dared to utter aloud, whether Franklin knew the answer or not: "What... what have I become?"

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"Hmm." The doctor seemed to be thinking hard. He opened his med-kit, and withdrew a few unfamiliar items.

"May I?" he asked, moving to push back the sleeve of the robe. She nodded mutely, and there was a tingling sensation as the devices passed over her arm.

"Hmm." Perhaps it was a sound humans made when engaged in deep thought, to center their minds. A focusing chant.

"Ambassador, I take it that your appearance now is not what you expected?" he phrased carefully, obviously trying not to offend her. "It would be helpful if I knew what you were expecting."

She waved a hand in Lennier's direction, too exhausted to speak.

"The Ambassador was trying to become a bridge between our two peoples," Lennier explained. "I believe she intended to become part human while remaining Minbari."

"Interesting," Franklin mused, seemingly fascinated. "May I take a blood sample, Ambassador."

Another nod. It was too hard to formulate her thoughts in her own language, let alone his. There was the slight sting that always accompanied the drawing of blood, then more of Franklin's thinking noises as he analyzed the results.

"Well, Ambassador, according to my readings you seem to have come fairly close to what you intended. I'd really like for you to come down to medlab so we can run some more comprehensive scans, but from what I can see you seem to have incorporated both human and Minbari traits in your physiology." He folded his arms and stared at her with that ubiquitous human curiosity. "I would love to know how you did it."

Successful? Delenn looked at him in disbelief - he could see she was not a mixture of Human and Minbari but... something else. Was this some bizarre human joke? They often had a strange sense of humor, but this was an inappropriate time for levity as far as she was concerned.

"But what about..." she held out her scaled arm for inspection, in case he had not fully comprehended the unusual appearance the first time. "And I feel... My mind feels... Floating... No focus." She could not express exactly how she felt different: how the emotions were crashing over her like waves, or a torrential downpour, or spring hurricane... She stopped the stream of thought, choking back a bitter laugh at the analogies she was using for her state of mind. Perhaps she was also going to go mad: that would certainly be fitting. She laughed again.

"Lennier, would you fetch the Ambassador a glass of water?" the doctor asked, looking concerned and gripping her arms carefully as she began to shake again. Lennier did as directed, and held offered it to her.

"You are dehydrated, Ambassador," Franklin told her gently, when she made no move to take the water. "And also in need of nourishment." The tremors were such that she couldn't hold the glass by herself, so Lennier supported it while she drank. The water helped eased the parched sensation in her throat. Franklin pulled a hypospray from his kit and applied it to her arm.

"This will help rebalance your system - replace the depleted vitamins, minerals and electrolytes. That sort of thing."

A pleasant warmth began to seep through her body, and the tremors quickly faded away to nothing. Delenn also felt a little calmer and at ease.

"Also something for the stress and shock you were naturally experiencing after so radical a change to your biochemistry. As for your skin..." Franklin flaked another piece off her hand, inspecting sub-dermal layer. "I believe this may be a by-product of... whatever you did. Which, I would like to add at this point, should have involved consultation with a medical personage - such as myself - before initiating the procedure." He looked sternly at her, and for a moment Delenn felt like giggling. She felt so strange, no longer in control of her own emotions.

"Do you have shower somewhere in your personal quarters, Ambassador?"

"A... shower? Uhh... no," Delenn replied, startled by the sudden change in topic.

"Hmm," he grimaced. "That would have been the easiest way. But no matter, we can improvise." He reached down and carefully drew her to her feet, wrapping a supporting arm about her when her legs refused to hold her weight. "Don't take this the wrong way, Ambassador." She was about to query that strange remark when he bent and easily lifted her into his arms.

"Mr. Lennier, which way to the hygiene room?"

The hygiene cubicle was in the same orderly state she had left it before entering the chrysalis and as Franklin set her down on a stool, she suddenly realized she had no idea how long that had been. The records on operating the triluminary had been vague at best with regards the expected time for transmutation.

"You really should sit while we clean this stuff off - you're not too steady on your feet at the moment and I don't want you to fall and injure yourself," the doctor said, keeping his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Would you prefer Lennier or myself to stay and assist you?"

"Would... would you stay?" Delenn asked tentatively. Franklin's presence and confidence were reassuring, to say the least.

"Of course," he answered, removing the communication link from his hand and rolling up his sleeves. He move to the spigot and filled the waiting basin with some of the traditional cleansing fluid. "Perhaps Lennier could get you something to eat?"

She nodded, realizing she was indeed hungry, and wondered why she hadn't noticed the gnawing emptiness of her middle before now.

"Nothing too spicy - it's been a while since the Ambassador has eaten," Franklin warned as Lennier left the room.

"How... how long?" Delenn asked.

"A couple of weeks, at least," Franklin replied, carefully bringing the basin to where she sat and placing it on the bench. "I'm not certain of the exact day you entered... whatever it was, you see." He gave her a pointed look, then continued: "Lennier just told us you were unavailable, and before Sinclair left for Minbar he mentioned the Chrysalis he'd seen." Delenn swayed and would have toppled from the stool if Franklin hadn't steadied her.

"Commander Sinclair has left the station?" she asked. It felt like her world was shifting around her faster than she could grasp it.

"Minbar requested an ambassador from Earth to reside on your planet, and Sinclair was appointed by Earth Dome," he replied, gently raising her from the stool to her feet. "Apparently your people will more readily accept him than any other human." He lifted a hand to pull back the hood of her robe, but halted. "We need to remove this," he said, asking permission.

Her hand fumbled with the catch at the waist of the robe for a moment before freeing it. With the doctor's help, she was able to push it back so it fell to the floor. It was then that she caught her first accurate glimpse of herself, in the full length mirror against the wall, and gasped. The hideous grey scales covered her entire body, peeling slightly where the nap of the robe had tugged against them. Her crest appeared to almost be crumbling. The only thing she could see of herself that remained were her eyes. They were the same. Scared, unsure, but hers, none the less.

"Ambassador..." Franklin said, turning her head until she faced him. "Delenn... This is only a transition stage - something temporary Just wait, I'm sure things will be fine." She appreciated his confident tone as much as the supporting arms as he lowered her back to the stool. She leant back against the wall behind her, as he poured a dipperful of the astringent over her arm.

"You are getting wet," she noted absently, watching the clear greenish liquid drip from her skin onto his trousers as he knelt before her.

"It's fine, Ambassador. I've been wet before." He ran his hand down her forearm, the friction removing a swathe of the grey layer, which he flicked onto the floor. She watched as it sluggishly teetered on the edge of the drain before it oozing slowly through the grating. Franklin reached out and poured another dipperful over the arm, dissolving the remnants of the flakes. Underneath she could see pale smooth skin. Skin a Minbari or a Human would wear. The tension seemed to flow from her body and she was grateful for Franklin's arms holding her steady: her fears had been unfounded - the change a success. Tears of relief brimmed in her eyes but she blinked them back resolutely. Control. She was Delenn, and she would have control. She splashed the remainder of the liquid onto her face and began to tear at the mess with eager fingers.

"Gently, Ambassador," Franklin said, catching both her hands in his and restraining them. "We wouldn't want you to scratch your face." Recognizing her urgent need to be free of the constricting shell, Franklin concentrated his efforts on her face, peeling the excess away to leave her own new skin to be kissed by the gentle breeze from the air recycling unit.

Too weak with hunger and relief to assist, she simply sat and allowed the doctor to remove the byproduct from the rest of her body. Delenn knew she should feel uncomfortable showing such weakness before anyone - especially a human, but after her earlier fright, she found his presence comforting. Franklin did not seem to think any less of her as a result of her fragility.

The shell, once thoroughly soaked by the cleanser, began to slough from her body in great clumps without much added assistance, although Franklin helped her dissolve the paste-like residue. She was surprised to find breasts when her chest was revealed - Minbari did not reproduce in the same way as humans, so there was no need for mammary glands. She touched one breast experimentally with her fingers, and watched with fascination as the rosy tip hardened. Strange.

"It looks like you'll have a few things to get used to, Ambassador," Franklin said discreetly as he pushed her forward slightly so he could reach her back. He was right, Delenn mused. Although she had prepared by reading about human physiology before using the alien device, she was aware that learning from books did not tell her everything she would need to know. That was something only experience could teach.

It was when they got to her head, that she was really astonished: the back of her crest pulled away, and long matted hair tumbled down her back and over he shoulder. Delenn stared at it with wonder, fingering the dark strands. It was one of a human's most distinctive attributes, but she hadn't been able to visualize herself with a head of hair. It was... unusual.

"I don't suppose you have any shampoo or conditioner?" Franklin asked, smiling, as he shook lumps of matter from the matted mess. "Oh well, we'll just have to make do."

Delenn didn't understand the reference, and soon forgot about it as he began drawing his fingers through the 'hair' pulling out flakes while carefully avoiding the partial crest that still encircled her head. His gentle ministrations felt... nice.

"Almost finished," he informed her, tipping her head back a little and sluicing more of the fluid through the hair. "Lennier," he called.

Lennier was in the room in seconds, his eyes wide as he saw the fruits of their labors.

"Yes, Doctor Franklin?"

"Could you get something for the Ambassador to wear, please."

"Of course." Lennier bowed, his eyes still on her.

Delenn had not seen the final results yet, as Franklin had deliberately placed himself between her and the mirror, but he now moved away and she was able to envisage the full extent of her transformation.

The hair was the most obvious change, followed by the breasts. The rest of her body seemed more or less unchanged, except for a slight rounding of her figure about her waist and hips. She stared at this amalgam of Minbari and Human features, trying to assimilate the fact that this was her new appearance. Liquid dripped from the damp hair, running down the slope of her breasts.

"You'll need to get yourself a brush and comb..." Franklin interrupted her contemplation. "Hair care implements," he elaborated in response to her quizzical glance.

Delenn could feel him wanting to say something more, but unsure as to how to proceed.

"You want to say something," she prompted.

"Uhm... As Minbari don't have hair, you may want some pointers on managing it. If you don't mind some advice, there are beauty parlors in the Zocalo that would be able to help you." He grinned. "Or ask Susan Ivanova - I'm sure she wouldn't mind answering any questions you might have."

"Thank you." She felt a prickle of tears behind her eyes and blinked them back furiously. In Valen's name, did she have no control over her emotions?

"All done" Franklin said, straightening up and reaching for a towel which he drew tightly about her. Then, surprising her, wrapped another about her head.

"Long hair holds a lot of liquid," he explained as she fingered the towel.

"Ah..." She'd never considered problems associated with having hair before.

Franklin seemed to interpret her expression correctly, for he smiled. "Don't worry, Ambassador," he said rubbing the towel over her body to dry her, "It will take a little getting used to, but I'm sure you'll be feeling more confident about this change in a few days."

Lennier had brought a soft meditation robe from her wardrobe and she slipped it on, marveling at the voluptuous feel of it next to her soft, smooth skin. It was as if her skin was more alive, more sensitive than it had ever been.

Once again, Franklin lifted her, carrying her back to the private living area of her quarters where he deposited her on the couch.

"Would you like some help with that?" he asked, as she unwrapped the towel from about her head.

She nodded, grateful once more for his offer of assistance.

"Just a moment..." he rummaged through his med-kit and drew... something out.

His hands were gentle as they worked through her hair and the motions lulling.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Working a few tangles out." He showed her as he drew an implement smoothly through her hair. "This is a comb," he said indicating the implement in his hand. Long hair also has a tendency to get tangled or knotted, and you use these to help untangle it. I can't remember exactly why I happen to have one in the med-kit. Certainly this sort of thing doesn't crop up everyday. There you go."

Franklin backed away and Lennier took the man's place at her side, carrying a small dish and eating implement.

"Now you should eat, Ambassador, then get some rest," Franklin ordered, packing his equipment back into his kit. "As soon as is convenient, please come to med-lab so we can run some tests. I need to do a full medical work up so we both know exactly what this... change has entailed with regards to your physiology and your future health."

"Thank you, Doctor," she said, inclining her torso as much as she could manage in a bow.

"I'm glad to be of assistance, Ambassador," he said flashing her a brilliant smile before exiting the Ambassadorial suite discretely.

"Delenn, you must eat," Lennier insisted, returning to her side after engaging the privacy lock on the door.

"Thank you Lennier." She placed her hand on his shoulder and inclined her head. She was so grateful for his quite devotion, his unwavering support.

"I live to serve you, Delenn," he said, returning the courtesy with his customary humility.

She picked up the bowl and took a forkful of cooling Flarn. It tasted even better than usual.

"You must tell me everything that has occurred while I have been indisposed."

"Of course, Delenn."

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